Let’s begin by dispelling the myth of the perfect gentleman: he’s an actor. A gentleman is not his facade but the outflow of integrity within. He possesses convictions and stands by them. He is open to growth so he is willing to change. He is eager to learn because he expects to teach, eventually. He is not a checklist of opened doors, pulled chairs, shared coats, bouquets with hand written notes, or I-walk-on-the-side-of-the-street-closest-to-the-cars-to-protect-her mannerisms; that, my friend, is a romantic, the occasional. He is not the grand gesture, though he may indeed perform them. The gentleman is established in his everyday choices.
The desire at the heart of every man is for respect. We see various manifestations for its acquisition crop up historically through violence or vanity; control through conquest would seem to command it, right?. What he doesn’t realize is that it is produced through the very thing he constantly shirks: responsibility. The man who would sooner make recriminations than accept fault for his error has yet to exhibit manhood at all. Neither has the one who neglects to fulfill what his words (or his signature) have bound him to.
Marking the Symptoms
It starts with an honest look in the mirror. What are your intentions? Just to gain a skill set that makes you a more attractive individual? Behaving in a way that garners favorable regards? Or is it to be genuinely concerned with the welfare of others in your interactions? Enough to change your inner actions?
Submit to growth.
That is truly praiseworthy.