The Ideal Pursuit: Comportment

Elegance is equanimity. The root of it being a demeanor that one exudes throughout scenarios. Within that air is certain calmness. That’s not to indicate a lack of excitability or exuberance, but rather the art of maintaining one’s composure. This is a life long effort. This takes patience, a sense of awareness, and an exhausting commitment to the high road.

While the notion of grace is often characterized by one’s appearance, clothing speaks very little of one’s true demeanor. We may judge a person’s taste, yes, but certainly not one’s decision-making capabilities. This simmers down to a manner of approach: rash or pensive. To forge through life elegantly, patience is requisite. There’s selflessness in tolerance and understanding. Listening before acting, and taking into account the complexities of a scenario are both components to the balance that comes with elegance.


Taking the time to appreciate the angles of a discussion requires a further sense of awareness. That means being keenly cognizant of both one’s intimate and distant surroundings. Once again, that requires the rather burdensome task of research, of examination. Knowledge allows one to travel down life’s paths a bit more informed. When we’re collectively, and genuinely, informed we’re able to employ a more contemplative attitude to our daily lives. This is turn brings us closer to the idea of equanimity, to maintain that collected composure that occurs when we’ve moved beyond unilateral thinking. That said, the underlying facet is consideration of others, a cornerstone of elegance.


Does this come at a price? Certainly. The adage goes that cooler heads prevail. But sometimes we don’t want to prevail, just to get even. That’s some shortsightedness though. Taking the high road requires a balance that’s sometimes more difficult to maintain than a quicker reaction. Arguably, the quicker reaction is often one of regret. Keeping in mind the long-term legacy of oneself is crucial here. Be remembered for keeping your cool, which in itself is a victory over others’ attempts to rile you, or lose for a momentary pleasure? Elegance is built over time, over a pattern of decisions, balance and sound judgment being chief among them.

Kamau Hosten hails from Ocala, Florida and is the founder of The Ideal Pursuit, an online platform that celebrates better living. “Only through growth and evolution, experience and exposure, are we truly able to step out of our comfort zones.” Follow his journey on Instagram.