Intrinsically, we’re selfish beings (and most of us won’t admit it), ultimately seeking self fulfillment before anything else. While there’s nothing wrong with that mentality (treat yo self!), there’s a time and place for it (see You, First). A relationship is neither the time nor the place for selfish driven actions–that is to say you want it to last.
The dynamics of relationships are such that we must do away with or curtail selfish habits and behavioral temperance that are tolerable when we are the sole factor, but disruptive to a bond once two people are involved.
“Old habits die hard.”
We’re used to what we’re used to. So to break out of routine is difficult, to say the least. If any good is to come of future relationships or an ongoing one, evaluating one’s self is critical. Your actions, tendencies, behavior, reasoning, and so on ought to be accessed and analyzed every now and then–keeping yourself in check, so to speak. For relationships to thrive, the pillars of the self-centered man has to be broken down in order to rebuild that of a selfless and inclusive one. This process, gradual, cannot take place without you first taking note of your selfish ways and tendencies to muck things up, and/or acknowledging the areas your significant other protests you need work on. This is working together to bring out the best in one another. Even more so, it is taking responsibility (relegating your personal agenda and opting to seek out a compromise) and growing up. There is reward in that–yours and her happiness, and a renewed sense of self.